Archive | November, 2010

Anything but THAT!!!

27 Nov

Clip Art

My 2 year old picks his nose.  First let me start off by saying that every child picks their nose.  Every adult for that matter picks their nose.  Yes, even you.  I’m picking my nose right now. It’s just human nature; why else would our fingers be made the perfect fit for the inside of our nostrils.  Go ahead and try it, they all fit in there, even your thumb!  Anyway, while I don’t encourage my children to go to town on their nose, it wasn’t the act of picking his nose that bothered me.  It was what he was doing with the sticky treasure once he dug it out.

HE-WAS-EATING-IT!!!

Now, there are a lot of things we parents must face when raising our children: colicky babies, tantrums, scraped knees, potty training, broken hearts, the list is endless.  But even the unconditional love of a mother can be tested when said mother witnesses an actual booger on the end of her beloved offspring’s tongue.  No one wants their child to be the “booger eater” in the class.

I can still remember the names of the “Booger Eaters” in my elementary school and in Jr. High for that matter.  BecauseRevenge of the Nerds Booger Eating isn’t a habit one gives up easily.  In fact, it might possibly be an addiction!  One memory shoots to mind at the mere mention of the word booger.  I was in 5th grade; Mrs. Latcher’s class.  I was giving a presentation on the first woman in space, Sally Ride.  As I stood up there in front of my peers I combed the room nervously trying to remember my speech.  One of my classmates caught my eye.  We’ll call her “H” as I am sure she is out in the world right now probably still doing what I am about to tell you.  Anyway, “H” was busily digging for gold as she intently watched me in the front of the class.  I tried to look away but like a horrific accident on the side of the road I just couldn’t pull my eyes from the scene.  I made eye contact with her and “H” made eye contact with me.  As if the aggressive burrowing wasn’t distracting enough, finally she struck gold!  She slowly pulled out the biggest, greenest booger I have ever seen in my life, still.  Only the booger wasn’t coming out without a fight.  Instead of sticking gracefully to the tip of “H’s” index finger, the Booger clung on to the inside of her nose.  She pinched it in between her thumb and index and gave it a good tug and out it came; only it did this ricochet action like a rubber band until it was very present on the tip of her finger.  All the while I am still standing in front of the class struggling to remember my words and keep a straight face.   But all that was about to end, for what came next I will never forget.

Now, there are many things to do with a Booger.  The polite thing to do is carefully place it into a tissue and wash your hands directly after.  But not “H,” she had bigger plans.  After examining the booger for a bit she did the unthinkable.  You guessed it, she ate it! And this wasn’t a swallow quickly type booger, it was monstrous and required a great deal of chewing.  After seeing this act, I felt a little vomit shoot up the back of my throat like the very rocket I was presenting on.  I quickly concluded my presentation and scurried back to my seat, feeling violated by what I saw.  And I vowed never again…to eat the cupcakes handed out in class for “H’s” birthday.

Do you still remember the “Booger Eaters” of your past?

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What are you Thankful for?

25 Nov

Waterimage

Each week I will ask a question in hopes you will answer.  And in honor of Thanksgiving this week’s question is…

What are you Thankful for?

As we all sit around the tables today and eat ourselves into a turkey induced coma I hope we can really recognize what we are thankful for.  At first the things we are thankful for are obvious: family, friends, good health, the meal we are about to eat, etc.  And while I am thankful daily for those things, this year I wanted to be thankful for the things I normally complain about.  So here it is:

10. I am thankful for my small house.  A big house would feel too lonely.

9. I am thankful that my kids fight over the same spot on a very large sectional couch.

It makes that spot seem more comfortable when I sit in it.

8. I am thankful for a very noisy house.  It’s full of life.

7. I am thankful that my 8 year old questions me.  It means he will also question his peers.

6. I am thankful my 2 year old always wants to be near me, even when I am going to the bathroom.

5. I am thankful my 8 year old is a “chatter box.”  I know he won’t always want to talk to me.

4. I am thankful for financial hardships.  We are finding out what is truly valuable.

3. I am thankful that my house gets dirty.  It means it is being lived in.

2. I am thankful for my husband and all his faults.  There was a time when I almost lost them for good.

And the number one reason I am thankful this Thanksgiving…

1. I am thankful I am not a Turkey.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

What are you thankful for?



Every Mom Poops

20 Nov

Jenny MacCarthy Candies Pic

Some women are just born mothers.  They keep a perfect house.  They have happy, well adjusted children.  They take care of their bodies, their husbands, cook everything from scratch, and have a current scrapbook for each of their kids.  They volunteer for the PTA, field trips, soccer coaching and everything else in between.  They do their hair and make-up everyday and don the perfect smile from ear to ear.  And did I mention they also have a successful career.  They have it all and they make it look easy.

And then, there are the rest of us.

The ponytail wearing, tired looking, not enough hours in the day Mom’s.  The ones who struggle to get the dishes and laundry done all in the same day.  The Mom’s who are at least 5 minutes late to everything and consider a trip to the grocery store an excuse to get dressed up.

It’s hard enough being a Mom without those mythical “perfect Mom’s” out there making us feel worse about ourselves.  Of course there are always those “bad Mom’s” out there making us feel better about ourselves (SuperNanny, anyone).  But in reality we are all on the same team.  We are all facing the same struggles.  Some of us just hide it better than others.  Just look at all the parenting Blogs out there.

So, to remind Mothers that we all put our sweats on one leg at a time, I wrote a little poem.  It is a play off the popular children’s book “Everyone Poops.”  Enjoy.

Every Mom loves

Every Mom laughs

Every Mom works hard

Every Mom cries

Every Mom struggles

Every Mom wants the best for her children

Every Mom loses herself

Every Mom doubts

Every Mom does her best

Every Mom wants to be accepted

Every Mom sneaks a cookie before dinner after she told her child “no” when he wanted a cookie before dinner…No?  OK, maybe that’s just me.

Just the same,

Every Mom eats

So…..

Every Mom Poops

What do you struggle with most as a Mom?

Dory. Quite possibly the Greatest Mind of our Time…

18 Nov

Dory

Ah, Disney.  What did we ever do without you?  For over half a century you have been guiding the youngest of our generations with your profound life lessons told so creatively through your lovable characters.  Thanks to you we know to steer clear of ugly old women with delicious looking apples (Snow White).  We now know naming a cat Lucifer is just asking for trouble (Cinderella).  And who could forget the ever important lesson of staying out of the clearing during hunting season, especially if you are a deer (Bambi).  Yes, there are many important messages in your movies that I’m sure we have all carried with us as we grew and became parents ourselves.  I know I will think twice before selling my voice to a Sea Witch (The Little Mermaid).

But perhaps the most important lesson I’ve learned comes not from your timeless classics of my youth, but from one of the newer animations that I watched with my 2 year old a few years ago; Finding Nemo.  Now there are many humorous moments in the tale of the lost clown fish and the determined father to find him.  I recommend it to anyone, kids or not.  But one of the scene stealers in this Pixar animation is a little blue fish named Dory.  And even though she provides the comedic relief and is voiced by the hilarious Ellen DeGeneres, don’t let her short term memory fool you.  She may very well be the greatest mind of our time.

There is a scene in the movie where Marlin (Nemo’s Dad) and Dory are stuck at the bottom of a whale struggling to get out.  And Marlin is so desperate to save Nemo he is yelling things he promised his son.  He finally feels defeated and falls to the bottom, Dory following behind.  He then says “I promised him I’d never let anything happen to him.”  A normal thought any responsible parent has.  But then Dory replies “You can’t never let anything happen to him, then nothing would ever happen to him.  Not much fun for little Harpo.”  It’s a small moment, I know.  But that scene and those words really resonated with me.

You see, I was a responsible parent.  I was loving and nurturing and fair.  I was also overprotective, over controlling and neurotic about making even the slightest mistake.  I was a “helicopter parent.”  I thought I was going to be the one who got it right.  The one parent in the history of parenting that was never going to make a mistake and never “let anything happen to her son.”

But with the “AH HA” moment that came from Dory’s great wisdom I found myself observing my own parenting skills.  I decided to let go a bit and take my son out of the bubble I was once so proud to keep him in.  I let him play.  I let him fall and then I let him get back up all by himself.  I let him get dirty!  And while each time I had a mini stroke at the loss of control, my son’s smile seem to echo Dory’s words.

And now my son is 8 and I find myself still listening to Dory’s thoughts and the wisdom that so often comes from the simplest minds.  And whatever bubble I still had in place was quickly popped when I had my second son and I realized that in deed, not everything is life or death.

So thank you Disney for opening my eyes to “A whole new world” (Aladdin) of experiences, adventures and yes, even mistakes.  We are better with you in our lives.  I shall celebrate you tonight over a big bowl of spaghetti and meatballs (Lady and the Tramp).

Anyone else have a favorite Disney moment?

Asleep

9 Nov

My favorite time of day is eleven o’clock at night.  Not just because the kids are asleep and I am finally “off duty,” but because I can sneak into my boy’s rooms and simply watch them sleep.  I can stand there as long as I want without the demand of dishes or dinner or an interrupting phone call.

I can just be in that moment.

I can hear the slow rhythm of their breath.  I can see the baby I once held in their sleeping faces.  I can watch their resting eyes flutter about as their mind takes them to faraway places.  I can stroke their hair and kiss their forehead and remember rocking them to sleep when they first came to this world.

And when one of them stirs in the slightest and their eyes faintly open …I run like hell out of their room as fast as I can.

I’m off duty remember…