Tag Archives: Advice

Welcome to the Farm!

30 Mar

Welcome to the Farm!




Spring is finally here!  And while the weather may not show it, there are small sings of the new season everywhere.  Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping and baby animals are beginning to emerge.  I also have quite a few friends who are planning to give birth to their own babies this spring.  Many of them are on their 3rd and even 4th baby!  They’re old pros, seasoned veterans, and I have no doubt they’ll be back on their feet faster than you can say ‘placenta.’

However, I have one friend who is on her first pregnancy.  She has that motherhood glow.  You know, the one we all had with our firsts.  The excited smile as we anticipated our new arrival; the preparing of the nursery, buying cute little clothes and carefully baby proofing the house.  Yes, those were the days.

She asked me the other day what to expect, as her due date is quickly approaching.  I looked at her not really sure what to say.  Oh, I had tons to say about becoming a mother for the first time but I didn’t want to scare her too much, after all it’s too late for her to back out now.

So I told her I’d get back to her once I thought about it for a bit.  And this is what I’ve come up with so far:

Becoming a mother for the first time is like moving to a farm in the middle of nowhere with absolutely no farm experience.

There’s no real way to prepare for it.  It’s nothing like your life before.  It’s full of unfamiliar noises, needy livestock and no sign of another adult for miles.  And yes, I am comparing children to livestock here.  Sure, you’ll have occasional help.  There’ll be the friends and family that will want to visit the farm, pet the livestock and give you advice, but they won’t stay nearly long enough.

You will be up all hours of the night.  After all, the livestock need you.  They will need feeding, their cages will need changing, and their hygiene will need to be maintained.  And there will come a day you will pass by a mirror and not recognize the mangy person staring back at you.  She will be tired and hungry, her eyes wearing bags and her hair a permanent ponytail.  A far cry from the day she had lunch with girlfriends and cleaned her house in high heels.

You will want to give up.  You are not a farmer.  And even if you thought you were, this is not what you expected.  You crave adult contact and the civilized world.  You are isolated, frumpy and grieving for your life before.

Then one day, when you think you’ve had enough the tiny creature in your arms will do something remarkable that will make all the work before worthwhile.  And after a while, when you finally do get “a day off” and away from the farm, you’ll find all you want to talk about is your farm and you’ll be eager to get back to it.  You won’t even remember what you did with your time before moving to the farm.

I can’t explain how it works.  All I know is that it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had in my life.  It’s never-ending, thankless, tiring, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What can I say, it’s my farm and I love it.

Anyone else have advice for my friend?