Tag Archives: Booger

Anything but THAT!!!

27 Nov

Clip Art

My 2 year old picks his nose.  First let me start off by saying that every child picks their nose.  Every adult for that matter picks their nose.  Yes, even you.  I’m picking my nose right now. It’s just human nature; why else would our fingers be made the perfect fit for the inside of our nostrils.  Go ahead and try it, they all fit in there, even your thumb!  Anyway, while I don’t encourage my children to go to town on their nose, it wasn’t the act of picking his nose that bothered me.  It was what he was doing with the sticky treasure once he dug it out.

HE-WAS-EATING-IT!!!

Now, there are a lot of things we parents must face when raising our children: colicky babies, tantrums, scraped knees, potty training, broken hearts, the list is endless.  But even the unconditional love of a mother can be tested when said mother witnesses an actual booger on the end of her beloved offspring’s tongue.  No one wants their child to be the “booger eater” in the class.

I can still remember the names of the “Booger Eaters” in my elementary school and in Jr. High for that matter.  BecauseRevenge of the Nerds Booger Eating isn’t a habit one gives up easily.  In fact, it might possibly be an addiction!  One memory shoots to mind at the mere mention of the word booger.  I was in 5th grade; Mrs. Latcher’s class.  I was giving a presentation on the first woman in space, Sally Ride.  As I stood up there in front of my peers I combed the room nervously trying to remember my speech.  One of my classmates caught my eye.  We’ll call her “H” as I am sure she is out in the world right now probably still doing what I am about to tell you.  Anyway, “H” was busily digging for gold as she intently watched me in the front of the class.  I tried to look away but like a horrific accident on the side of the road I just couldn’t pull my eyes from the scene.  I made eye contact with her and “H” made eye contact with me.  As if the aggressive burrowing wasn’t distracting enough, finally she struck gold!  She slowly pulled out the biggest, greenest booger I have ever seen in my life, still.  Only the booger wasn’t coming out without a fight.  Instead of sticking gracefully to the tip of “H’s” index finger, the Booger clung on to the inside of her nose.  She pinched it in between her thumb and index and gave it a good tug and out it came; only it did this ricochet action like a rubber band until it was very present on the tip of her finger.  All the while I am still standing in front of the class struggling to remember my words and keep a straight face.   But all that was about to end, for what came next I will never forget.

Now, there are many things to do with a Booger.  The polite thing to do is carefully place it into a tissue and wash your hands directly after.  But not “H,” she had bigger plans.  After examining the booger for a bit she did the unthinkable.  You guessed it, she ate it! And this wasn’t a swallow quickly type booger, it was monstrous and required a great deal of chewing.  After seeing this act, I felt a little vomit shoot up the back of my throat like the very rocket I was presenting on.  I quickly concluded my presentation and scurried back to my seat, feeling violated by what I saw.  And I vowed never again…to eat the cupcakes handed out in class for “H’s” birthday.

Do you still remember the “Booger Eaters” of your past?

Advertisements